Sunday, September 11, 2011

Letting Go of Fears and Jealousies

This week I've been thinking about what in my life I need to let go of in order to let more good things come in. Today in church a couple of scriptures we read really stood out to me:

Doctrine and Covenants 67: 3, 10:
3: "Ye endeavored to believe that ye should receive the blessing which was offered unto you; but behold, verily I say unto you there were fears in your hearts, and verily this is the reason that ye did not receive."
10: "Verily I say unto you that it is your privilege ... that inasmuch as you strip yourselves from jealousies and fears, and humble yourselves before me ... the veil shall be rent and you shall see me and know that I am."

These scriptures made it very clear to me what two main things could be holding me back right now:
1. Fear: fear of never finding a job, fear of the job search itself, fear of not making friends, fear that moving to DC was a mistake, fear that I will end up a failure and back in my parents' house in Draper by Christmas
2. Jealousy: jealousy that others seem to find the things I seek faster than I do; jealousy that others have found better jobs, better housing, etc.; jealousy that others seem to get what they want without having to first struggle for awhile

Letting go of fear and jealousy won't necessarily make anything happen sooner, although acting without fear might bring opportunities I would otherwise miss. But letting go of fear and jealousy will most definitely make the transition to DC less painful and less scary. I need to remember that He is in control and always willing to help me if I do my part. I need to not worry about what others have because I don't know what their inner struggles are and if I am going to honestly compare myself with others I don't think I would find myself lacking in blessings. I decided a long time ago that I wanted to move to DC after law school and even though I do not find myself here with my dream job in my dream apartment with a million friends, I do find myself here. Everything that I needed to make the move out here came together when it needed to. Things will continue to work out for me if I do not let fear and jealousy get in the way. As I learn to let go of fear and jealousy I know that I will be able to see God's hand in my life and that He is giving me exactly what I need when I need it.

1 comment:

Courtney Kay said...

Oh, look how well this all worked! You totally deserve every good thing coming to you!