Letting Go of Fears and Jealousies

This week I've been thinking about what in my life I need to let go of in order to let more good things come in. Today in church a couple of scriptures we read really stood out to me:

Doctrine and Covenants 67: 3, 10:

3: "Ye endeavored to believe that ye should receive the blessing which was offered unto you; but behold, verily I say unto you there were fears in your hearts, and verily this is the reason that ye did not receive."

10: "Verily I say unto you that it is your privilege ... that inasmuch as you strip yourselves from jealousies and fears, and humble yourselves before me ... the veil shall be rent and you shall see me and know that I am."

These scriptures made it very clear to me what two main things could be holding me back right now:

1. Fear: fear of never finding a job, fear of the job search itself, fear of not making friends, fear that moving to DC was a mistake, fear that I will end up a failure and back in my parents' house in Draper by Christmas

2. Jealousy: jealousy that others seem to find the things I seek faster than I do; jealousy that others have found better jobs, better housing, etc.; jealousy that others seem to get what they want without having to first struggle for awhile

Letting go of fear and jealousy won't necessarily make anything happen sooner, although acting without fear might bring opportunities I would otherwise miss. But letting go of fear and jealousy will most definitely make the transition to DC less painful and less scary. I need to remember that He is in control and always willing to help me if I do my part. I need to not worry about what others have because I don't know what their inner struggles are and if I am going to honestly compare myself with others I don't think I would find myself lacking in blessings. I decided a long time ago that I wanted to move to DC after law school and even though I do not find myself here with my dream job in my dream apartment with a million friends, I do find myself here. Everything that I needed to make the move out here came together when it needed to. Things will continue to work out for me if I do not let fear and jealousy get in the way. As I learn to let go of fear and jealousy I know that I will be able to see God's hand in my life and that He is giving me exactly what I need when I need it.

D.C.

I cannot believe this is my new home!

Almost There

We spent most of today's drive making our way through Kentucky where we of course ate some fried chicken. Although I'm still feeling it hours later, it was so worth it.

Now Emily and I are at the Days Inn in Charleston, West Virginia eating pie and biscuits we picked up from a truck stop in eastern Kentucky. We really wanted to experience the South.

Done and Done

On my list for St. Louis:
1. See family
2. Eat at Ted Drewes

Kirstin and Emily Do America

The drive our second day took us through Kansas, where there's not much to see except for this cathedral. On our road trip we're planning to eat at as many restaurants that have been featured on Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives as possible. Tonight we had sone delicious BBQ in Kansas City.

Turkish Baths

Today Courtney and I made our own boat tour by taking commuter ferries from place to place and then we hit up the spice market where I bought enough herbal tea to last me for the next year at least. We then spent the afternoon at some Turksih baths, which was quite an experience.

The website has photos of models wrapped in towels lounging about in a sauna. Our experience differed a bit. When you enter the lobby you pay for the services you'd like and receive the corresponding tokens. We went with the traditional bath experience then added a clay facial mask. We were led to a locker room where we dressed in the black bikini bottoms provided and a towel-like wrap (notice I did not mention that we were provided with a bikini top). Then we made our way to the baths. We walked through a big wooden door to find a dozen or so topless women, few of which could be mistaken for a model, lying on a large round flat stone in the center of a room with many sinks around the edges. We laid out our towels on the warm stone, laid ourselves on our towels, and waited. It was hot and humid in the room so we started perspiring immediately, which I think is the part of the process.

After awhile a worker came over to me (you could distinguish some of the workers because they had a black bikini top, but mine did not) and had me follow her to another spot on the stone where I was told to lie face up. She then took what must have been a large brillo pad and rubbed my skin raw, then had me flip over and did the same thing to my backside. Then she dumps half a bucket of cold water on me, dumps the other half on herself, and rubs bubbles all over me. All over me. This part involved another flip, some more buckets of cold water, and a mini massage. She then led me to a sink on the edge of the room, had me sit, shampooed my hair, and dumped 10 more buckets of cold water on me to rinse me off. Then I was left to do my own thing. I lay on the warm stone for awhile and then when Courtney was finished we went into the jacuzzi for a bit.

When we'd had enough we went into the towel room where a mud mask was painted on our faces and we were led to the lounge area to wait for it to dry. The lounge area was cool and dry, filled with women wrapped in towels (the website wasn't completely misleading), and drinks were being served. After we each drank a bottle of water and our mask was dry we went back to the towel room to wash our mask off in the sink. However we were scolded and told that we must wash it off in the shower. By this time we had regretted not signing up for a massage and asked if we could do so then. After some dialogue back and forth between a number of workers we were led upstairs to the massage rooms. The massage was enjoyable and seemed completely unintrusive after what we had just gone through.

While in the bath it was so hard for me not to laugh. It reminded me of when my high school friends and I had all turned 18 and decided to go to an adult store just because we could and had to fight to not giggle because although everything about the experience was hilarious, the other people there meant serious business. (Tell me you and your friends did the same thing and that I'm not a total perv?) Once I was able to control my laughter and get used to being so close to another mostly naked stranger it turned into quite the relxing experience.

Istanbul

I have been pleasantly surprised to find that traveling in Turkey is quite easy. The people are friendly and many of them speak English. While dragging our suitcases through cobblestone streets to find our hotel no less than 10 people offered directions, completely unsolicited. The directions were such that it took all 10 sets to actually find the hotel, but it was nice to see how willing people were to help. With the people of Turkey determined to make sure Courtney and I have a pleasant trip and don't waste any time being lost, I'm sure it's going to be a great couple of days. Istanbul is yet another amazing city. There are beautiful old buildings everywhere you look. Although it is a mostly Muslim country, it's not Muslim in the way Jordan and Egypt are. Women dressed in traditional clothing with everything covered make up the minority of women out in the streets here.
Here is the Blue Mosque. Even though it is still used as a mosque, visitors are allowed inside. I was excited because it was the first time I can think of that I have been inside a mosque.

Then there was the Hagia Sophia--the most spectacular church I have been inside. The amount of detail and beauty is incredible.

We've had a lot of fun just wandering and eating food from street vendors. Most notable are the doner kebabs and baklava in its many forms. Because it is during Ramadan, the streets are filled at night with people celebrating the fact that they can eat again. The festive spirit makes being out even more enjoyable.